Despair is a gift -Kierkegaard

Where do we go

When the body shuts off

The mind goes quiet?

A corpse with fingers curled

Knees bent, heart beating

I can't feel you

Anymore than I can those I lost years ago

But I know I'll see you soon

Laugh with you, touch your hand and feel the blood coursing through

So how are you different than him?

He whose heartbeat I have felt, steady as my own

Why are you a reality and he only a dream?

Why can I touch you

When all I have left of him is a stone

At this moment you are both memories

But you'll be back tomorrow,

At least the odds are in your favor

And he is gone forever

or so they tell me

There is a crack in everything

Thats how the light gets in

-Leonard Cohen

I think I should accept

That its always gonna hurt

That they're always gonna leave

That I'll always be alone

I wish that he was here

To tell me "I'm the best"

To make me feel I matter

To anybody else

And I hate it here

Even at the best of times

Because I'm always alone

I've gone as far as I can go

So why do I keep trying

To convince them I'm okay?

Spent the night at the bar

Paid the man to take away my feelings

For all the money I spent

Why can you still hurt me?

Everytime I drink

I write like he can feel me

Like he just received a letter I wrote

But in the morning I can't feel him anywhere