Percy

I forgot the name of the horse Matty O bought Lauren and for a minute everything hurt.

Her name was Percy

I miss Dad every day, but i'll never feel like i think about the rest of them enough,

Uncle Sean

Matty O

Glen

Eamon

Jimmy Kelly

Tommy McHale

I want to mourn them all

But I've learned you are only given so many tears to cry

Your soul can only take so many rips

Your heart can only withstand so much longing

Before you cease to feel anything at all

Winter

I'm praying for cold and rain

So I don't have to justify why I won't get out of bed

I waste too much time worrying about the time I've wasted

I'm just the girl on the balcony, singing nobody will ever remember me

listening to the new Say Anything makes me feel better about being lost

Rockabye

the hardest thing to think about is the insignificant moments.

how they would be sleeping right now.

moments that didnt hurt

rooms that dont feel empty

unaware of the loneliness that we could feel

the happiness we would have had hurts most of all

Round and Round We Go

I keep starting over

Just to end up in the same place

Im tired of trying pretending to try

Why do I spend all my time trying to get somewhere

that I don't want to be?

Maybe its better to be on the road to nowhere

Than home alone

I waste all my time worrying about the time I've wasted

I miss feeling like I need music more than oxygen

Now all I have is noise

Meaningless sound that keeps my thoughts from staying in one place too long

I'm afraid to think about anything too long

I'm hiding from my own brain

Losing everyone and everything else,

Well thats just collateral damage

Vanilla Twilight

Owl City is the soundtrack to the life I should be leading.

I belong in new york

cobblestones and cafes

snow coming down on west broadway

I think I would be home

Despair is a gift -Kierkegaard

Where do we go

When the body shuts off

The mind goes quiet?

A corpse with fingers curled

Knees bent, heart beating

I can't feel you

Anymore than I can those I lost years ago

But I know I'll see you soon

Laugh with you, touch your hand and feel the blood coursing through

So how are you different than him?

He whose heartbeat I have felt, steady as my own

Why are you a reality and he only a dream?

Why can I touch you

When all I have left of him is a stone

At this moment you are both memories

But you'll be back tomorrow,

At least the odds are in your favor

And he is gone forever

or so they tell me

There is a crack in everything

Thats how the light gets in

-Leonard Cohen

I think I should accept

That its always gonna hurt

That they're always gonna leave

That I'll always be alone

I wish that he was here

To tell me "I'm the best"

To make me feel I matter

To anybody else

And I hate it here

Even at the best of times

Because I'm always alone

I've gone as far as I can go

So why do I keep trying

To convince them I'm okay?

Spent the night at the bar

Paid the man to take away my feelings

For all the money I spent

Why can you still hurt me?

Everytime I drink

I write like he can feel me

Like he just received a letter I wrote

But in the morning I can't feel him anywhere

The List Goes On and On...

Whitman, Shelley, Dickinson, Yeats...

Today she said that it was a trait of many of the great poets to struggle in school, that their view of the world just did not fit in a classroom

How can I both be terrified to be like them and terrified not to be?

The Only Thing We Have to Fear is the Truth

It's getting harder to hide out inside my head

I don't know where else to go

Like being able to walk on water

When all I want to do is sink

Will I ever have someone I can show myself to?

Without scaring them away?

Or having me committed?

Maybe crazy people are just the people who have stopped pretending

I want to pour my brain out on paper

Like Jack Kerouac

Wake Me Up When September Ends

My father was a hero. Not because of the way he died, but because of the way he lived....

It's all ADDing up

I may alone
But at least I'm in good company

It Can't Be True

NONONONONONONONONONO!!!

I'll play be the supportive friend

But with all my heart, I hope I never have to hold your hand through this

i wish i could handle this gracefully...

I'm close enough to know what your thinking

To know that you only see her

I may be the one who can feel the rise and fall of your chest as you sleep

But I'm not the one your dreaming of

lacking inspiration..perspiration

I'm addicted to the feeling I get when I'm with my best friends

I've tried to replicate it in the medicine cabinet too many times

I wish I could believe that this all mattered

That when my life is weighed and measured

What I do now could tip the scales

stay awake...

caught in a cold sweat
start splitting hairs
i'm drinking too much i'm on my way to striking out
go to sleep with the pressure of everyone
watching and waiting 
im yours for the taking
but still have my doubts

before you ask which way to go
remember where you've been

stay awake
get a grip and get out your safe
from the weight of the world just take
a second to set things straight
i'll be fine
even though i'm not always right
i can count on the sun to shine
dedication takes a lifetime
but dreams only last for a night

figure it out
girl you're tripping so pull yourself together
or you'll wash up like the rest
cause this ship is sinking
i'm thinking, i'm done for
i'm watching the sails disappear underwater
cause i'm no captain yet

i said before you ask which way to go
remember where you've been

believe you, me 
ill give them everything
ill tell them anything 
to show them them everything
believe you, me
ill give them everything
id sell them anything
to show them everything

you ain't the only ones who wanna live it up!
you ain't the only ones! 

-All Time Low

leather & lace

My body doesn't ache anymore when i see you.

Unless you count the corners of my mouth, 

from trying not to smile every second your around

infinity on high

"Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high, then life seems almost enchanted after all."

- Vincent Van Gogh

I'll stay as long as I can remember how this feels...

So I got myself a little insurance, just in case I ever start to forget

medically speaking your adorable....

I'm obsessed and stressed with this mess
I can't think of things
To write down, to type down
And these fingertips are moving faster than these lips
So you can only imagine how jealous my mouth is

-Risque, C.I.W.W.A.F.

Try to spring ahead but I'm always falling back

May 13 2008

I'm happy

I've run out of excuses for the way that I am

I'm addicted to sleep but I'm breaking the habit

Terrified that this is enough

Even I can't hear her scream anymore

I can find the flaws in perfection 

And the perfection of your flaws

I try to bask in the sun 

But I always get burned

SPF 45 on my heart

Bacardi 151 in my veins

...round and round we go